When it comes to education, all parents have their own vision. What values inculcated, what compliments to do or avoid, what to encourage or the criteria on which to let go.
Alexandra Cunningham, 33, and her husband Shane, 39, chose never to compliment the physical appearance of their two little girls, Lucy, 4, and Betty, 2. But that’s not the only controversial parenting technique they have in their arsenal…
Controversial parental choices
Alexandra is a social media content creator living with her tribe in Toronto, Canada. Mother of two little girls, the young woman has more than 200,000 subscribers on TikTok. On this account, she regularly reveals the parental choices that she and her husband Shane do for their daughters. But recently, one of their suggestions sparked intense debate among other parents and users.
The couple before the children
« It’s easy to let your marriage take a back seat once the kids come on the scene and take each other for granted. commented Alexandra. ” Although it sounds harsh or controversial, we think it’s crucial for a life of family successful she added. So she and Shane chose to put their relationship first. By feeling appreciated, desired, understood and valued, the duo emphasizes that it strengthens their relationship while allowing them to be better co-parents and partners in life.
Do not stress their marriage
This video, which has accumulated more than 219,500 views and nearly 21,000 “likes”, also reveals other controversial statements, including that of giving your children an early bedtime to spend quality time together. Alexandra and Shane don’t hesitate to say not » to all events that could « stress their marriage or prevent them from connect meaningfully “. Faced with these different rules, Alexandra explained: “ It’s easy to avoid working on certain aspects of your relationship when you have kids because your time is almost entirely accounted for. “. For this, the young mother recommended taking “ time to have fun together, to work things out and to feel heard ».
Avoid the term “pretty”
Besides a relationship coming to the fore, Alexandra also explained why she and Shane rarely tell their daughters that they are “pretty”. “I personally do not want to contribute in any way to the idea that appearance is of crucial importance. said Alexandra. ” They will hear it enough outside the home because culture is so intertwined with l’appearance physique she pointed out. Thus, she confessed to “fighting” daily against her desire to compliment them in order to remain faithful to her rules parental. ” I’ll discuss their beauty if it’s directly referred to or if it’s in relation to something we do/discuss/how they feel she commented. Alexandra hopes, by this method, to inspire them with confidence and to prevent them from basing themselves on a criterion ” as fragile as beauty ».
Spread a positive message
Admitting that parenthood was ‘difficult’ especially for mothers, Alexandra hopes, through her account, to encourage more parents to take care of themselves. ” I want parents to know that they matter and that having children is not like having to give up your own happiness or sanity. she noted. ” The best parent is a happy parent she hammered. But despite this desire for a positive message, the couple have been strongly criticized by some TikTok users who do not share the same parenting beliefs. ” I do not agree ! Children are always first no matter what wrote a first person. ” It’s satire, isn’t it? quipped for a second. Finally, a third concluded: You should tell them they’re pretty. They should grow up confidently not wondering why their parents didn’t call them pretty ».
